I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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