I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
