my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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