I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Randomize
