I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
