Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Randomize
