what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Panties = found
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