I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
