oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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