i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
