we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
