The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
