I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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