I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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