Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
