this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
