yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
