Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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