wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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