they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
