it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
