Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
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