From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
