I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Randomize
