lets start a swedish sibling band together
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
