So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I can't turn off my feet"
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
