remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Randomize
