She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
