It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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