Did you just see the Batmobile???
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Did we literally take a cab across the street
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
