Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
