Don't you send me to vm
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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