I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
