Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
