i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
