They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
