So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
