so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
