So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
