Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Vodka?
Forever.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Randomize
