does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
