they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
