did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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