No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
