no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
