so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
