okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
