if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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