so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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