Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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