We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
